Come Visit Me at My New Blog!

This will be my last post at this blog. Come visit me at my new blog: http://JackBergstrom.com.


Blogger was a great place to start and I will continue to grow my knowledge of blogging on that platform, but for me, WordPress and hosting my own blog on my own domain was the way to go.

All 4 of the Blogs that I formerly updated on Blogger will be represented on my own site now, as well as lots of new information on new topics.

What a hoot! Come visit me!

See you there,

Jack

http://JackBergstrom.com/blog

Effective Networking

I am reviewing my seminar that I will be giving next week at the Boulder Chamber of Commerce. The topic is "Effective Networking". This is what effective networking means to me:

• Networking is an integral and predictable part of your plans to grow your business.
• Networking is easy and natural for you...it is easy to get yourself to go, heck it might even be fun!
• Networking is a skill that you have mastered...you know what to say, when to say it and why to say it.
• Networking is a process that you have learned so that it takes the minimum amount of time to achieve the maximum amount of results for you.

I will talk about all of these in more detail.

Bye for now...Jack

Finally Back to the Blog

Wow! Was it ever easy to get behind on blogging! I got so busy with new clients that I just let this slide. Sorry about that! I think I am back in the swing now.

For those of you in the Colorado Front Range, I am giving a seminar next week at the Boulder Chamber of Commerce on "Effective Networking". Should be a good one. Wednesday, June 27th at 11am. Free to Chamber members and I believe $15 for nonmembers. Hope to see you there.

Bye for now....Jack

Delight and Surprise for Your Employees

I prided myself on taking extraordinary care of my employees. I knew that our relationship would be one of the most significant that they ever experienced and I also knew that my business goals would be achieved thru the efforts of my employees, not thru my direct efforts. I did many unexpected and fun things over the years to nurture and delight the people that worked for me and here is the question that I asked myself each and every month.

What can I do this month to delight and surprise my employees...to make them feel nurtured and cared for...to make them feel appreciated...to make them feel heard...to make them truly empowered to achieve their best while they work for me and have a blast along the way?

I love that question still and as I am growing my Internet based coaching and consulting company it will be my pleasure to ask it many more times.

Bye for now...Jack

You Can't Please Everyone

I just got back from a weekend in Kansas visiting with an 8th generation relative of Benjamin Franklin. Lee "Doc" Franklin is a great friend and he has made a study of relative Benjamin. I decided to do some reading while I was at Doc's ranch and choose a biography about BF that I had never seen before. It was a good choice.

I did not realize just how many people did not like Benjamin during his lifetime. Many of his highpowered peers disliked him for a variety of reasons, and yet the past 2 centuries of people generally look back at him with great respect and wonder. This is particularly interesting since BF went out of his way to be likeable. What is the lesson from this?

This was the lesson that I choose to remember. "Do your best. Follow your ethics. Work always for the greater good while working for your own good and never be surprised if people do not like you. The more successful you become, the more people will find a way or a reason to not like you." I don't like this lesson, but I am sure that it has value.

Till next time...Jack

Graduation and Lessons

My 2 daughters. Erika the graduate holding Mary Esther.

My elder daughter graduated from college last weekend. It was a very emotional event for me and I am very proud of her. She got out of college quicker than I did and with a higher GPA and I am considered to be pretty bright.

There were lots of lessons from the weekend of graduation for me. Lots of memories and amazement. I kept thinking of my daughter's birth and wondering just how it was that she was already a grown woman and getting her college diploma. Where did the time go? I have heard that phrase my entire life, but this was the first time I said it myself. Where did the time go?



Here is a lesson that I decided to keep around: "There is all the time you need accomplish your most heartfelt goals, but there is never time to waste."



Till next time...Jack

Questions to Grow Your Business

I love questions. I use them all of the time...for myself...for my business...for my clients.

Here are two that I just love and I use them to bookend my days. In my journal, and I hope you are journaling, I write these questions and the answers to them...each and every day:

Start of the day question: What will I commit to doing today that will advance my most important business projects and how will I ensure that I have fun in the process?

End of the day question: How good of a job did I do today of really making the best use of my day and really having a blast...a great time while I worked?

Now I use many more questions than these, but just starting here will do great job of keeping you focused and having fun and if you are focused, working and having fun...you will achieve!

Bye for now...Jack

Television, Reruns, Science Fiction Books

Are you already using all 24 hours in each day? I know I am. I was also using all of my available time before I started planning, before I started taking time each week to plan how I was going to make my dreams become real. Where did the extra time come from?

Choice. I had to use the power of choice...a tool of incredible power...sharp enough to cut through anything...when driven by the muscle of desire. I wanted my new life. I could taste it! I could see it. I could even smell it, but without significant effort, including planning time, it was never going to be mine.

I had to choose to stop doing some things that I enjoyed, that were mostly distracting or low priority, and make time for things that were less inherently fun, but would help me create my dream life.

My choices involved Television, Movies and Science Fiction Books. What will yours involve?

Bye for now...Jack

Planning Continued

So, did you look at all of the time that I asked you to set aside for the next year and devote to planning? Did you do it? Did you make these dates with yourself? I know some of you have, because you are my clients, and if you skipped this step then you could not remain my clients...I consider it that important.

For some of you that didn't set these dates up yet, I have yet to convince you of the true radically wonderful benefits...well, we will work on that.

For some of you, most of you actually, you are probably already using all 24 hours in each day and are wondering where you could even find the time to do this planning.

We will start to work on that issue next time...bye for now...Jack

Scheduling Dates with Destiny

I am going to recommend that you open up whatever system you use for planning, electronic, paper or both, and set up the following dates with yourself:

(I will be assuming that you work Monday thru Friday. If your schedule is different, then adjust this accordingly.)

Right now, for the balance of this year, schedule:

2 hours every Friday afternoon to review the week that you just used up and to plan the week ahead that is still yours to create.

2 hours the last Thursday before the end of every month to review the month that you just used up and to plan the month ahead that is still yours to create.

2 hours the last Wednesday before the end of every quarter to review the quarter that you just used up and to plan the quarter ahead that is still yours to create.

2 hours the last Tuesday before the end of every 6 month period to review the 6 months that you just used up and to plan the 6 months ahead that is still yours to create.

1 full week, somewhere near the end of the year, to go somewhere by yourself, somewhere fun and empowering, where you can spend a full week nurturing yourself and being pampered...whatever that means to you and a full week of dreaming, reviewing the year past, looking at the year ahead and looking forward at least the next 10 years of your life.

Finally, 5 minutes every morning and every evening to review your top 5 goals for the year and your whys for each goal...your passion and purpose for making these things happen.

If you schedule these times, show up, do your best, have fun, be honest with yourself, and ask yourself some decent questions, which I will give you, then I will make you this promise, based on my work with thousands of clients, and my work with myself:

The things that you only dream of now, and perhaps have been just dreams your entire life, will become part of your everyday reality. The only thing that can stop you is death and it is useful to remember that we all have that price to pay, especially if you find yourself hesitating or acting like you have forever...you don't. Or as my dear mother likes to remind me still: "Jack, no one gets out alive. Do your best today." Thanks mom.

Till next time...Jack

Planning Continued

So you have made an initial inventory of your dreams and desires. You have made sure that you really want these things and you have balanced the timelines...short term, mid term and long term.

You deserve some congratulations already. If you stopped right here and never did a bit more planning you would have already spent more time than the vast majority of college graduates ever invest in planning their lives and statistics would show that you will already, just based on this bit of planning, achieve vastly more of your dreams than others that have not invested just this minimal effort in themselves. So, again, congratulations! You are already closer to your dreams than you might know.

I want to follow this thought for just a line or two. For almost everyone I know, this is their planning cycle: New Years Eve, 5 minutes before midnight and whatever issues are bothering them the most, they resolve to change. They raise a toast, express a good intention, and never review this goal again until the next New Years Eve. And except for divine intervention or dumb luck, they almost never achieve their dreams.

They live in reaction to the world around them. They are told what to do and what to want by their bosses, friends, television and the Internet. Remember the old saying about "Most men live lives of quiet desperation"? I see this so often. I see it in television addicts, afraid to really look at their own lives, and so lost in the lives of others because their own lives are so painful and empty.

It doesn't have to be this way at all...and planning is the first best step to a much better and brighter future...designed by you...perfect for you...ultimately fulfilling for you...your highest and best destiny.

Bye for now...Jack

Planning Continued

So, you have created your list of goals, spread across all aspects of your life. Great!

Time for the first edit of your goals: Do they excite you to think about? Are these goals compelling? Are they actually even your goals, or just leftover dreams of your parents? Look at them now and make sure that these are goals that you really want to achieve...if they aren't, then change them until they are exciting, compelling and authentically yours!

Now, the 2nd edit of your dreams: Put a timeline next to each goal. How soon would you think that this goals could be achieved? 6 months? 12 months? 3 to 5 years? 10 years or more? Make sure that you have a balance of estimated completion dates. If all of your goals are way out in the future, then add some that you can do, complete, this year. If all of your goals are short term, then add some really big global goals that can be a consistent focusing force for you over the next decade of your life. Make sure that you have a nice balance, in each category, of short, medium and long term goals.

Till next time...Jack

Planning Continued

This is taken directly from my new client "intake session" where I am gathering information to help me most effectively help my new clients achieve their goals:

"For the purposes of our work together, I would like you to mentally divide your life up into these categories of focus and improvement:

Your Physical Body Goals: Health, Fitness, Exercise, Dentistry, whatever fits.
Personal Development Goals: New Skills, New Learnings, New Books, whatever fits.
Family Goals: Wife, children, siblings, relatives, relationships, visiting them, delighting them, nurturing them, whatever fits.
Relationship Goals: Friends, Acquaintances, Partners, deeper relationships, better connections, resolving old conflict...whatever fits.
Business Goals: New Office, New Equipment, New Job, How Much Profit, How Many Hours Worked Per Week, New Projects...whatever fits.
Spiritual Goals: Your Connection to the World, Your Connection to the Universe, Religion, Your Higher Power, Recycling...whatever fits.
Financial Goals: Money Earned, Money Saved, Debt Eliminated, Investments...whatever fits.
Fun /Having a Blast Goals: Vacations, Trips, Guilt Free Splurges, Concert Tickets to Delight Yourself or Someone Else...whatever fits.
Possessions: New Car, Used Car, New Outfit, New Golf Clubs, New Furniture, Used Bike...whatever fits.
Emotional Goals: Changes and Enhancements to Your Emotional Toolbox and Habitual Responses...Procrastination into Action, Confusion into Clarity, Fear into Empowerment, Scattered into Focus...whatever fits.

Look at these categories and write down whatever comes to mind, in each category that you would love to achieve...in the short term...this coming year and in the next 3 to 5 to 20 years. Put no limits of any kind on this initial list. Pretend that Santa Claus is going to get this list and you have been a very good boy or girl!

There are great reasons why this list should initially be done in a limitless frame of mind, and we will discuss those some time, but for now, just play and put down what comes to you."

So that is the first step...dreaming...letting your mind run free and download your most heartfelt desires to you. There is huge power in just this step alone.

Planning

I will be giving a seminar called "Excellence in Planning" in just under 2 weeks. I could give the seminar tomorrow and do a decent job, but I have really committed myself to moving my seminars up in value and "Fun Factor" each and every time I present them. With that as my goal, and with the number of people that have already told me they would love to be there and cannot, I thought I would write about the process of planning as I do it and as I highly encourage my clients to plan as well.

First step: Holding a significant planning session with yourself and for yourself where you look at all aspects of your life, business and personal, and you let yourself dream. There are no limits during this time, and no concern about how you will achieve a certain goal. ( How you will achieve something is considered later. You want to make sure that your inner skeptic or editor is quiet during this time!) You look at long term goals...out 20 years or more and you look at shorter term goals...some that might only take you a month to achieve.

I still do this complete process, and we will talk about the complete process, each and every year. It takes about 40 hours to do the process justice. So, each and every year, I take a week of my highly valued vacation and I devote it to the process of planning. It is the best week of vacation that I ever take and makes all of the other vacations possible.

More on planning next time...Jack

Taxes

Aah, another year of taxes. How did it go? I used to really bellyache about the taxes in the United States until I had spent a fair amount of time traveling and living in other countries. Now, I will say this without reservation:

The United States is the safest and easiest place in the world to build a fortune. (There are easier places, but they aren't safe...your money or your life! There are also much safer places, Canada for example, but you will find it quite interesting to survive the taxes there! Wowsers!)

One of my Canadian friends sent me a video about taxes in Canada called "Knee in the Package". I wish I know how to load that here, but I think you can probably find it with an online search. Worth a quick glance!

Till next time...Jack

Marketing

Last year was a wonderful period of growth for my business. I learned about blogs, podcasts, video podcasts, social networks, ezines, ebooks, webcasts and so much more. What a great year! Since that time I have been rapidly moving my practice into the virtual world and that has been a great learning experience as well.

Here is the biggest single lesson that I learned from 12 months of study and smart and hard work and working with my own coaches that I have hired for my business:

"Excellence in Marketing is at least 10 times more important than competence."

It still hurts me to say that, but it is so true. I spent many years becoming the most competent coach and consultant that I was capable of becoming...and I still invest lots of time each week learning even more. And yet you know what I tell new coaches and consultants now when I work with them to get their practice up and going? "Don't even work with a single client until you have a product of some kind for sale and also have a blog up and working for you"

"Marketing is more importance than competence."

Till next time...Jack

More Rules That Serve You?

What would you attempt to do if you could take action without fear? What would you work to achieve for your family, your self, the world? If you could take action without fear, what would you be doing differently?

If you weren't afraid of: rejection, failure, success, looking foolish, or whatever it is that you fear, what new actions would you take and where would those new actions take you? For most people, and it was certainly true for me as well, once you are free of fear you can go to completely new destinations and you can start to make your dreams part of your daily reality.

I have ended all of my seminars with this phrase for many years now and I still use it today:

"Haven't Your Dreams Waited Long Enough?"

Bye for now...Jack

Rules that Serve You

What if I told you that you get to choose your future reactions to actions from others that in the past you would have interpreted as rejecting? If in the past, someone told you no and now you had to feel terrible, what would you like to feel instead? Excited? More Empowered? More determined? All of these are possible.

You start by looking at:

Your behaviors that are determined by:
Your capabilities that are determined by:
Your beliefs that are determined by:
Your Identity...who you think you are.

Each of these levels are more encompassing or broader than the level below it. Change your identity, who you believe you think you are and you change everything. This may be more change than you need to get past the fear of rejection.

I commonly work with people at the level of beliefs. We identify beliefs that do not serve them as they want to be served, create new beliefs that are more empowering and then swap them out! New beliefs enable new capabilities and those create new behaviors and feelings.

It is an absolute hoot to watch in action and it all starts here: How do you want to behave...how do you want to feel and/or respond? You get to choose!

I know this explanation is short and cursory, but it is the place I start in doing this kind of change work in my clients.

More next time...Jack

Getting Past the Fear of Rejection

So here is a rule that served you when you were young, and almost certainly does not serve you well now:

You ask for what you want: self promotion.
The person you ask says no.
and then you apply the following rule:

Now here is the rule that most people in America apply: I ask, they say no, now I must feel rejected...hurt, stung, the very validity of me as a person questioned.

Does this seem like the rule that you operate from? If you are a natural salesperson, perhaps not, but there are not many of those out there. For most people, this is exactly the rule that they follow and it is a lousy way to run your life.

Where in the heck did this rule come from? There has been lots of study of the Fear of Rejection. Some experts will insist that this is a hereditary trait. (To which I say show me the gene!). Others will say that this rule was installed by well meaning parents attempting to keep their young children from killing themselves in the early years. (I believe there is a good bit of truth here. It is hard to avoid using withdrawal of love or approval with a child to get compliance...it is just so darn effective!) I have met some people, rarely, that can trace their fear of rejection to a single incident in their past. This memory, this occurrence, was so powerful, that they have a phobic response to people saying no. So, lots of disagreement about the roots of this disabling rule, this response to perceived rejection.

So, what can you do about it? How can you change this? Come back next time! Bye for now...Jack

Setting Yourself Up To Win Part 2

Definitions. Rules. Beliefs. Where do these things come from? They are so powerful these beliefs. Let's look at one that I have explored in great depth...it manifests itself as fear of rejection. I have seen this single, powerful fear, driven by lousy definitions literally tear people apart as they tried to go after their dreams.

Example in steps:

You try to promote yourself and/or your product or service.
Someone says no...perhaps they even say no harshly, but they say no.
You feel terrible...rejected.
Because you want to succeed, you continue to promote yourself.
People continue to say no, because that is what most people will always do.
You continue to feel terrible each and every time, stressed constantly, and eventually you stop promoting yourself.
And then of course, you get to feel bad about that as well!

Familiar? If you have spent any time at all working with clients, or salespeople, or watching others attempt to promote themselves, I know that you have seen this in operation. And where does it come from? Excellent question, but I like to go to the next step. How can you change this? Well, you need to change the rules, the beliefs, the definitions that are driving the feelings and behaviors and that is what I will talk about next time.

Set Yourself Up to Win

I am putting the finishing touches on a speech for tomorrow. I can remember many years ago when I would have been quite nervous right now. Instead, I have a real sense of positive anticipation...I am looking forward to presenting. What is the difference? Well, I have many hundreds of presentations under my belt now, but that isn't what made the difference. I will tell what did make virtually all of the difference.

I can't fail! Wow. Pretty bold statement, but let me make it clearer. I have set up and rehearsed my definitions for success so that I just cannot fail, whatever happens tomorrow. Since I can't fail, I can focus instead on doing my best.

Here is my current definition for a successful speech:

1) I show up.
2) I do the best that I can at that time...at the moments that I am presenting I will do my best.
3) I will learn something to make my next presentation even better.
4) I will do my best to have fun.
5) I will do my best to help the audience to have fun.

As long as I do these things, I have been successful and I will celebrate! Pretty hard for me to fail huh?

Notice that everything in my definition of success is controlled completely by me. At the moment of presenting, I can only focus on things that I will be able to control.

This same philosophy works wonders in so many areas where people are afraid of failure. The definitions of success that they have are terrifying them. Create definitions that empower you to take action and you will figure out how to continually make the results better.

We will explore this topic in some depth this week. There is power and profound knowledge here. Bye for now...Jack

Creating a Speech Part 5

Great day here in Colorado. Sunny, cool, snow rapidly melting and spring is everywhere! Wowsers!

I will end my exploration of speech writing for awhile by talking about "The Importance of Rhubarb". I was told long ago that when a Hollywood movie was being produced and they wanted the sound of a large crowd or mob in the movie, they had all of the extras say "Rhubarb" It does do an amazing job of making that sound. Here is why you care: when you have your participants do a live exercise and it is a good one, as I hope yours will always be, they get very involved and excited and it is nearly impossible to get their attention to continue your presentation. In larger group, I have spent 15 minutes walking around quieting noise so I could begin the seminar again, but that was before "Rhubarb".

Now, at the start of every presentation, I tell everyone to be aware that I will be raising my hand when it is time to return to the seminar and their job is to immediately raise theirs when they notice my hand go up and then to get quiet. We practice saying "Rhubarb" and having them get quiet as my hand is raised. This technique is so effective, I have seen it quiet a room of 500 participants in less than 60 seconds and all I did was raise my hand and smile. Cool huh?

Happy speaking!...Jack

Creating a Speech Part 4

Howdy. Snowing here in Colorado. No one predicted it, but woke up to 8 inches on my car. No big deal, spring snows don't last long here.

So why am I talking about speaking anyway. Simple. Once you can do it, there is a huge market of places hungry for speakers and you get great, awesome publicity. It is one of the single most powerful ways to promote your business. And you can learn to speak! If I could learn, you can learn.

So, your material. Here are my suggestions, in no particular order. Take a stand. Be controversial. Use humor as much as you can. Involve the audience. Use live demos if you can. Use your agenda to keep yourself on track. If you are using PowerPoint or something similar, use it sparingly, the most boring presentations I have ever attended were all driven by PowerPoint. Use lots of emotion...be big and broad and not afraid to be loud. Some people won't like you, but most will and those are the ones that you care about. Finally, walk out into the audience...people will like you for it.

I am not spending lots of time on your material. You will need less of it than you imagine and by no means should you attempt to memorize a speech in its entirety. This is a complete waste of time. Create talking points, that you know lots about, put them on easel sheets in the front and back of the room and just look at the talking points and talk!

Bye for now...Jack

Creating a Speech Part 3

How is everyone today? Excited to learn a bit more about creating a speech? Hope so. I am excited to share the next step that I follow...creating my agenda.

I use the agenda that I create for every speech as the framework that I build around and then as the topic reminder and timer when I present the speech.

Let's say that you have a 90 minute presentation. 5 minutes at the front for your hosts...this goes on your agenda. 5 minutes at the back for your hosts...this goes on your agenda. If the group size is not too large, then you can do live Q&A. In a 90 minute presentation, I like to do 3 of these and schedule 5 minutes for each.

What else to schedule? How about your introduction from your hosts or your assistant and a bit of how is everyone casual chatting with the audience? 5 minutes for this.

How about talking about your offer? I hate speakers that spend too much time using the platform as a place to abuse the audience with an extended commercial for their products or services, but I assume you would like more business or why not stay home? So, put together an offer, that is simple, elegant, and clear and talk about it at the end of your presentation...before your last Q&A session. I call mine "The Let's Stay in Touch" handout and it works quite well and takes around 5 minutes for me to explain and just a couple of minutes for my audience to fill out and return to me. I collect newsletter subscribers, testimonials and permission to use the testimonial and people wanting to have a get acquainted meeting about coaching or consulting from this sheet.

You should also have a priming session somewhere in your speech, allow about 5 minutes for this and also a get up and stretch session...even if your presentation is only 1 hour...again 5 minutes or so.

We haven't even talked about your material yet. You will fit that in only after you have laid out these other elements first.

• Host time at the beginning
• Your Intro
• Priming
• Your material
• First Q&A
• Your material
• Stretch and move time
• Second Q&A
• Your material
• Your offer
• Third Q&A
• Wow them time, if you have a way to wow them
• Host time

So, that is the agenda and next time we will talk about your material.

Upcoming topic in the speaking category in my blog include your material, priming, The Importance of Rhubarb, Your offer and Wow them time.

Bye for now...Jack

Creating a Speech Part 2

Step into the shoes of your audience. What would really serve them to know? What would wow them? If there were just 3 pieces of great information about your topic that you could get across, what should those 3 be? Ask yourself these questions. You will get some good answers, especially after you have been speaking for awhile.

Now, ask the person that booked you for the engagement, or the person that you would like to be booked by. Ask them these same questions. They know their audience. They know the wants and needs of their membership.

Finally, ask for the names and an introduction to 2 or 3 critical people that will be in the audience. Ask them these questions. "I want to make sure that I cover the most important information...the information that your membership would really like to hear about. I can't always fit everything in, but if I can, what would you think would be a great piece of information to cover?" Then find a way to present this information or at the very least give a resource in your material where participants can go to learn about this. Since you asked for input, do your best to use it. This will pay off nicely in good testimonials and future bookings.

Bye for now...Jack

Creating a Speech Part 1

Sick for the past couple of weeks and behind on my entries. Sorry about that. Today I will start talking about building a speech. I am going to assume that you have the fundamentals of speaking under your belt. You can get up in front of a group and talk. If this is not the case, then may I recommend Toastmasters? It is how I got my start in public speaking and what a gift that was!

So, assuming the very basics, how to begin? Let's assume that you get hired, or want to get hired, to talk about a topic that is not currently in your field of mastery. Congratulations! You are now going to get paid to increase your knowledge base, add a product for sale to your inventory and have a blast! At least you will if you work the way that I recommend.

So, go to your local library, new topic in hand, and start gathering information. Lots of information. For a 1 hour presentation, kind of a natural starting place, you should collect and master enough information for at least 4 hours of chatting about this new topic of yours. This extra depth will serve you very well indeed. The Internet can flesh out your collected data with the latest and greatest and then you are ready for the next step...putting yourself into the minds and shoes of your target audience. We will talk about that in the next entry...bye for now...Jack

Motivation Strategies

I am giving a speech in two weeks on Positive Self Motivation Strategies. This is a speech that I have given many times and is always well received. I like to review my speeches and enhance them each and every time that they are presented with the goal of continual improvement in my own speaking abilities and in the material that I present.

Over the next 2 weeks of blogging, I am going to do that very process of review here in this blog. It will provide some interesting reading both about the process of speaking for pay and self promotion and the process of tweaking material.

For today, I will just begin by looking at the topic...Positive Self Motivation Strategies. I like to gift the world with this material because I see so much negative motivation being used by virtually everyone that I meet or consult with. Stress, working under constant stress, doing things you hate because you must, these are the kinds of strategies I see being used around me all the time by very smart people to get themselves to take action. They use the best strategies that they have been given or that they have modeled or learned. Understand me, negative motivation works...it works really well...and used consistently it has the power to destroy you...to really kill you.

Negative motivation has its place. It is powerful, compelling and immediately gets your adrenalin flowing. It is also instinctive. We are born, particularly men in my experience, knowing how to react to negative motivation. Keep your head down on the battlefield or it might get shot off. Do this, or you'll be demoted or fired. Be late one more time, and don't bother to come in at all. These are messages that are clear and they are negative...do this or else...do this, or terrible things will happen.

So, enough of a review of negative motivation for now.

Will I talk about negative motivation in my speech? Always just a bit to make sure that the audience knows that I understand negative motivation and I feels, just for a moment, the uncomfortable feelings of operating from that place.

I will have a complete slide or sheet about negative motivational statements and feelings...this will be new for this presentation.

Enough for tonight...the positives are coming...Jack

Read This Book

Over time, you will see lots of books mentioned here. I am a book addict. If I don't read at least 2 books per week, one fiction, one nonfiction, I still to feel very uncomfortable...ill at ease. Thankfully, this addiction has served me well over the years and I think it will serve you also.

This week I read, or actually I listened to "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. He is more famous for "The Tipping Point", but I thought I would start here. Excellent read / listen. The book explores in wonderful story rich fashion the history, training, uses and pitfalls of intuition...hence the name "Blink". I would make a point of reading or listening to this one. Malcolm reads his own work here and does and excellent job of it. The section on "Priming" alone is worth many times the price of admission.

Malcolm will be one of the featured speakers at The New Yorker Conference / 2012: Stories from the near future. May 06 +07, 2007 in (of course) New York City. This would be a great conference to make! www.conference.newyorker.com

Joe Girard and Followup

I get many questions about how to stay in touch with a new contact...how to gracefully move from those initial meetings to mutually beneficial referral relationship. You can spend lots of mental effort here, but my suggestion is to keep it simple. Years ago, when I was first struggling to learn the process of selling, I had the good fortune to run across a book by Joe Girard. Joe is an amazing person in many ways and I encourage you to learn more about him. This excerpt is taken directly from his website: www.joegirard.com : "For 12 straight years Joe sold more cars and trucks than any other salesperson. More as an individual than most dealers sell in total. No other salesperson has ever attained this title for more than one year, and not for both cars and trucks. During his fifteen year selling career, he sold 13,001 cars,all at retail - no fleet, wholesale or used cars*. Most of his time is now spent writing books, giving lectures, and sales rallies."

He still holds at least one world record in selling. So, why do I mention Joe? According to more than one source, Joe sent out a note each and every month to every person that he met. Month after month, year after year. And what was the secret message that he put into these notes, the secret that helped propel Joe into a completely different life and then keep him there?

"I like you!" Every note said the same thing, every month, to every person: "I like you!"

Simple enough? Don't get caught up in what to say. Say something and stay in touch...bye for now...Jack

The Magic of 8

So when does networking start to really pay off? You have been meeting people. Learning about them and giving them the opportunity to learn about you. Will you get business right away? Sometimes and rarely. On rare occasions, you will meet someone at the exact instant that they need you or know someone that needs you. This is rare and foolish to depend on.

Much better is to plan on staying in touch, letting your new relationships naturally mature and move into mutual top of mind awareness and like and trust and having faith that business will come. And it will come! When will it come? Usually sometime after your 8th contact with a new person. I don't even consider someone to be in my SOI, my Sphere of Influence, until after our 8th contact. From this point forward, after the 8th contact, I can predict with great accuracy how many deals or referrals I will get, over time, from my SOI and so can you!

Bottom line, unless you plan on staying touch, don't even bother to get in touch....bye for now...Jack

Interested or ?

When you go out networking, are you interested or interesting? Are you waiting for your chance to talk or are you waiting for the opportunity to learn more about the person you are chatting with?

I want you to be interested. Learn questions that allow the other person to comfortably talk about themselves. Be genuinely interested in what they say...adopt this attitude...people are a never ending source of fascination for me. Don't worry that the other person doesn't know anything about you yet...and yes, I know that you are very interesting indeed! Still, your turn will come, in this conversation or the next. The odds of your getting to that next conversation are wonderfully increased by starting by being interested, not interesting.

Till next time Constant Reader...Jack

Sphere of Influence

I stated earlier in this post that for the vast majority of small business owners, if they had 220 people that were in their sphere of influence, they would be making most or all of the money that they wanted.

So what is a Sphere of Influence as I define it?

Someone that knows you, likes you, trusts you and you have had at least 8 contacts with that person.

8 contacts...why and how is that?

Contact 1: You meet them and ask permission to build a business relationship.
Contact 2: You send them a note...nice to meet you....looking forward to learning more.
Contact 3: You call them for a meeting.
Contact 5: You meet them.
Contact 6: You send them a note after your meeting..It was nice to meet you...assuming it was!
Contact 7: You add them to your newsletter distribution list...with permission of course!
Contact 8: They get a handwritten note from you each and every month.

So, 8 contacts can happen pretty quickly and why 8? My personal experience and the experience of many other salespeople strongly indicates that after the 8th contact is when you can expect to see reciprocal business start to happen...business by referral!

How many people do you have in your SOI that know you, like you, trust you and you have had at least 8 contacts with and are now getting your newsletter and you send a note to each month?

Is it less than 220? Are you making all the money that you want to make? Humm...interesting.

Till next time constant reader...Jack

Anchoring and Eliciting Peak Emotional States

So here is a bit of information about why the incantation in my last post is so effective.

• It is done just after some coaching work that elicits some great and empowering states.
• These states have been have been checked for ecology and custom designed for each participant.
• Anything, and I do mean anything, that is done just as an emotion is reaching its peak, its maximum intensity, will become anchored to that emotional state.
• Once this anchor is set and tested, the state...the peak emotional state, can be recreated or recalled very rapidly by firing or triggering the anchor.
• The Incantation is unique...it represents a trigger that is seldom going to be fired at random...this helps the anchor maintain strength and effectiveness over time.

A great resource for those of you just beginning to explore the field of NLP and learning what it can do for you is Heart of the Mind by Connirae Andreas. This book is a great overview and has some great pieces of personal changework that you can begin to use immediately.

Till next time...Jack

Incantation of Commitment and Achievement

Many people have heard of affirmations. They are commonly recommended as a way to change beliefs and manifest new outcomes. In my experience, these affirmations are almost useless. They are usually put together without the knowledge of what makes them work when they do and what makes them fail when they don't work.

In the seminar that I am conducting tomorrow, we will end with an incantation...the title chosen to suggest a magic spell of change...and it will work. I will give you the incantation today and over the next few days, I will explain why it works and what it does...

The Incantation of Commitment and Achievement

Remembering a time of complete commitment now, a time when you were utterly committed to achieving...to doing whatever it takes...how did this feel...how did you hold your body...how were you breathing...what were you seeing...remembering that time now and speaking aloud:

I see my future clearly ...and I want what I see

I hear my destiny calling...and I will answer the call

I feel the power in my dreams...and its all the power I need

I will do what it takes...and this is my time

Yes!.....Yes!.....Yes!.....Yes!

I will have an audio version of this online here soon and also an explanation of the psychology behind this. It is fun...bye for now constant reader.

Permission Marketing

I remember when I first started to attend networking events. I would force myself to go, fearful and hoping someone would want to talk to me. Then, if by some miracle I would manage to collect a few cards, I would congratulate myself and then I would go home. Sometimes the people behind the cards I collected were interesting, sometimes they weren't and usually I didn't know anything about them. Then the cards would start to collect. A stack here, a stack there. Soon I needed rubber bands to keep them organized. Then I had to replace the rubber bands with larger ones to hold the results of my efforts.

Results? The only results were the cards themselves. It was as though I was a business card trophy hunter. I should have mounted these cards on a wall somewhere. When I did call someone, rarely, I had no clue what to say. Commonly, I just procrastinated the whole calling back thing until I eventually threw away the cards. Might as well cold call out of the yellow pages, they would know me just as well!

Fast Forward...

I look forward to networking events. I know what I will be doing and why. I know that the networking will absolutely generate new business within the coming year. I have trained myself, really I have been trained by others, to be an expert communicator at networking events and most importantly, I end every new meeting like this:

"I love to do business by referral whenever possible. I like to send business to people I know and trust and I like to have business sent to me the same way. Would it be okay if we met and I learned more about your business. Enough that I could easily send you your ideal prospects and I could describe to them why they might want to work with you? Would that be okay?"

As you might expect, the vast majority of people I meet have never been asked this question and would be delighted to meet and tell me more about their business. No more call reluctance on my part and they are expecting my call when I make it a few days later to arrange coffee with them.

What about them referring business to me? Well, since they need to know me, like me, trust me before they will send business, this is still a great start. My turn will come in the conversation, but my focus, and yours, should be on them first.

Till next time constant reader...Jack

Networking 101...The Magic of 220

I am going to be writing this entire week about effective networking. This is a topic that I know well and I have been training people in the art of effective networking for approaching 2o years now. Wow, that even scares me!

The magic of 220. I will make this bold statement. The vast majority of entrepreneurs starting out in their new ventures and the vast majority of owners of small businesses will experience most if not all of the success that they desire when they have 220 people in their Sphere of Influence. I have seen this work time and time again in business after business and industry after industry.

Why 220?

There are approximately 22 business days in each month.
You should be sending out 10 hand written notes per day to your Sphere of Influence.
Everyone in your Sphere of Influence should get a note from you every month.
10 notes per day times 22 days per month is...220 unique contacts.

I cannot even remember all of the business that I have received the day that people received a handwritten note from me. Typical phone call..."Hey Jack, just got your note. Thanks! Was wondering if we could chat about working with you as my business coach?"

Sometimes, rarely, this happens just after I meet someone or they see me speak somewhere. Much more commonly, sometime from a month to years after I have met someone, the time is right for them to hire me and really benefit from our collaboration.

How many handwritten notes did you send out today? Are you making all of the money that you want? Humm...interesting. 10 handwritten notes...30 minutes tops!

Upcoming information this week:

Permission Marketing
What is a "Sphere of Influence"
Interested versus Interesting
The Magic of 8 and Joe Girard

The Beginning

This is my first posting here. I created this blog to help small business owners and executives working in small business achieve massive success and have a blast while doing it.